Thursday, September 12, 2019

Comment Wall

To enter the Wizarding World: run at the brick wall, or just click here!

Comment below any feedback to let me know what you think of my storybook!

Image result for harry potter 9 3/4 platform wall
(King's Cross Platform 9 ¾ image from Lauren Manning on Flickr)


  1. Brooke I just read through your storybook and I was super impressed! I liked the life you gave to the characters and made it still your own despite being from a famous series. I appreciated the author's note that tied the new additions to the story from the reading you had previously done. I didn't quite catch that it was significant that the candle was unlit, maybe mention something about it in the story? Just as a way to help the reader understand that it's an important part of warding off werewolves. I liked the addition of the friends distracting Remus from harming people. This made it seem like their efforts weren't for nothing while following Remus. Overall, I enjoyed the layout of the website as well, from the photos to the text. If it is possible, I would move the navigation bar onto the home page. I wasn't sure how to navigate to the first story from the homepage. Or giving the reader a note that they need to navigate in the specific way on the website!

  2. Brooke,
    I just have to say, wow. This story threw me back into the wizarding world of Harry Potter is such an effortless way. I for one love reading the Harry Potter books, watching the movies, browsing Pottermore, and reading Harry Potter fan fiction. This storybook is an amazing way to express yourself creatively as well as contribute to a narrative that you are so passionate about. That is something i would like to implement in my storybook is how to bring someone into a story and have them so interested that they can't quit reading. This story was one of those that I couldn't quit reading, great job, I can't wait to see where you take it.

  3. Brooke, I really really enjoyed reading your story! First of all, I love the idea of re-telling the werewolf story by incorporating popular culture! That was such a clever idea and was something that really brought this story to life! Another great aspect of this story was the format it was presented in. I love that Teddy is talking to the Professor and she is able to show him this memory. And then, when she shows him the memory from the werewolf's perspective, that was really cool because it shows why the werewolf acts the way he does and what it looks and feels like to transform. The details and descriptions used were super helpful to the development of the characters as well as the story in general. I truly don't have any criticism, constructive or otherwise, to give because I genuinely enjoyed all aspects of this story! Great job!

  4. Hey Brooke! I love love love your story, and I'm so happy you took it in the direction you did. I've always been a pretty diehard Harry Potter fan, so I was so excited to see someone making their storybook about Harry Potter. Your idea to combine Harry Potter and traditional mythology stories was very cool, and judging by your introduction, you did a very good job! It was really interesting that you combined one of Remus's stories with the story about the monster. And, including Teddy and the Marauders was very cool too. It was really nice to see how Teddy still gets to connect with his parents when he only had them for such a short time. Kind of reminds you of Harry and his parents, doesn't it? Overall, your story was very well written and descriptive, and it felt like your story came straight out of the book. I wonder what characters you'll include in your future stories. It would be cool to see you write some stories about our favorite golden trio, but I hope you keep venturing out past that and writing about characters we don't really get to see, like the next generation. Either way, I'm sure it'll be great. I genuinely enjoyed reading it (if you couldn't already tell) and I'm excited to read more!

  5. Hey there Brooke! I just had the chance to check out your project so far, and I have to admit that I was of course drawn into your project because of my abnormal harry Potter obsession. When I saw the layout and image used for your home page, I knew I was in for a treat! I loved how easy your site is to navigate, and the overall look of your site is perfectly Potter. I was really excited to see that your first story was names the Shrieking Shack, because what Potterhead doesn't love the infamous shack? Then when I saw the name Teddy I have to admit I freaked out. I absolutely loved how you took a character with little background information and used that in your favor to place him into a different story. I am looking forward to more of your stories in the future! Well done!

  6. Hey Brooke!
    I guess I should've figured it was only a matter of time before I came across a Harry Potter storybook. I can definitely feel your love for the series and its stories as I read your storybook. You have a great imagination too. This is evident in the detail you give to these stories and how you are able to bring them to life. I have actually never read a Harry Potter movie, but was still able to take away a lot from your storybook and enjoy it. Hopefully after I get finished reading your storybook, by the end of the semester, I will take it upon myself to read them myself. The only critique I have is the location of the navigation bar, I would put it on the home page. Also im sure you are working on it, but I am pretty sure the storybooks need an introduction right? I still really like your website and can't wait to see what you do with it.

    1. Hi, thanks for your feedback! I actually opted to write an extra story instead of an introduction. I know that was a little confusing so thanks for pointing it out!

  7. Hi Brooke! I love the wizarding world and am so happy that you are giving it more stories! I just read your story about Remus. I like how you took inspiration from the folklore story. I wonder if you can make the connection to the unlit candle more clear; maybe, you can talk about how the village has a spell cast that protects it from werewolves and/or why it was unlit that night. I also really enjoyed Professor McGonagall's appearance in the story. She has always been a favorite of mine. Since we don't know much about Teddy, what if you expanded on his character or appearance a little more? Does McGonagall recognize Remus in him or more Tonks (does he have any of Tonks' abilities)? Is he a Gryffindor? I think it is a wonderful idea to connect the folklores and the wizarding world as sources of creativity. I loved the story!

  8. Hi Brooke,

    I like how you combined Harry Potter's world with myth and folklore stories. That's also really creative that you're creating stories inside of stories.

    In Forbidden Forest: The Forest Spirit, I think you do a good job of being detailed, such as the centaur towering above her, and expressing the emotions of the characters. I do find it interesting that Luna didn't seem to be as fearful of situations as others. Was this a regular occurrence for her? As for the Albus story, why were they chanting "Schippeitaro" at the beginning? Also, how did Albus come up with his plan and what made him think it would succeed? I wonder why the dog was able to succeed when the centaurs failed in the past. I also think it would be a good idea to mention how long ago this happened. Anyway, good story! I'm looking forward to the rest of your stories within stories!

  9. Brooke.

    I absolutely had to look at your storybook because of the title! Your home page is very appealing, and I love the fact that you have the links to your stories in the middle, and let us know that stories 3&4 are on their way! The vocabulary you used for McGonagall felt spot on, and I could hear her voice as I read. I think it might be beneficial to add some pictures throughout the Shrieking Shack because it was such a long story. I think more pictures would help the reader "see" what they are reading. I love that you pretty much produced a new character, although Lupin's son was born at the end of the book. It gives it a whole other dynamic, and I think you did a wonderful job.

  10. Hello Brooke!

    I really like how you added onto the world of Harry Potter by combing it with some other myths! Harry Potter already has a lot of magical aspects to it. Your stories add even more onto that by providing us with some more background info on the secondary characters. Characters like Remus and Luna definitely deserve! I think you incorporated the myths into the series really well. I really like the one about Remus! He's definitely one of the more interesting characters in the series not only because he's a werewolf, but because he was friends with Harry's dad which we know so little about. I am really excited to see which character and myth combination you chose for your next story! Best of Luck!

  11. Hi Brooke! I just want to start off by saying that I LOVE Harry Potter so I'm already a little biased and knew I would love your storybook. I really liked the first one. I like that you gave Teddy a whole new personality of his own because in the books, he's barely just an infant so we have no idea how we turns out to be in the future, except for what is mentioned in the epilogue. I also like how you added a "memory" and included Remus as well in the story. I think the language and vocabulary you have used for McGonagall is spot on. I definitely could hear her talk as I was reading. I haven't read the story you have used as inspiration for your own so reading your story was just a whole new thing for me. However, I think I definitely would still enjoy reading yours more just because it is Harry Potter. I think it would be nice if you included more pictures so the readers can actually see what the characters look like. I think especially for the second part of the story, you could find a lot of artwork on the Marauders when they turn or when they're human. Overall, I think you're doing an awesome job so far! I can't wait to come back and read more stories!

  12. Hey Brooke,

    I just wanted to stop by your storybook again to see your new story :) I love Luna Lovegood, and I am so glad you incorporated her into your story. She is a fearless and curious character, and you definitely portrayed that in your story. I love how it isn't just Icaraus speaking, and you have he and Luna interacting. And oh my goodness! I did not expect the boy to be Dumbledore! I think you did a phenomenal job. The only suggestion I have is to add more pictures throughout your story. I'm looking forward to your next story!

  13. Hi Brooke!
    I really enjoyed your storybook, I am a big Harry Potter fan so it was really fun to see these stories retold. I think one thing you could do to make your storybook better is to include an introduction page where you explain the ideas behind the stories you are going to be writing. I think that this would allow your audience to be able to flow into your stories better. Your page it set up really nicely now and I like all of your banner pictures, I just think an introduction would tie it all together very nicely. Overall, I really enjoyed your style of writing, it was very easy to follow. I also think you did a good job in providing a good amount of information in your author's note so even people that are not familiar with Harry Potter can enjoy your stories.

  14. Hi Brooke! I'm a Harry Potter fan, too, so I was excited to see that you based your storybook on the series. The first thing that struck me was how well your site is laid out! It's very easy to navigate and it's clean and modern. I was also impressed how well you blended the voices and personalities of the original Harry Potter characters with the themes of the myths you were basing your stories on. You are an excellent writer! I also think you did a good job making the stories understandable for people who haven't read the series with your author's notes, although I may not be the best judge of that, since I've read the books so many times. Honestly, the only thing I noticed is that in your first story (the one about Lupin), the header is a little big and cuts some of the text out. Just a small tweak and it would look perfect!

  15. Hey Brooke, I'm back to read more of your stories! I was so excited to get to read more of your entries, and I definitely wasn't disappointed. The layout of your website still looks amazing, so great job there! As for your writing, great job on that too. Luna's story with the centaurs is really interesting and easy to follow. Plus, it was a great surprise that the boy everyone was talking about was Professor Dumbledore (even though I really shouldn't have been surprised). I like that your author's note at the bottom clearly articulates the original story, plus what you changed in your own story. It really helped make sense of what tale you were using as inspiration. I really enjoyed your story about Draco as well. It was really creative to combine his story with that of the fox's. I was happy to see that you ended the story with Draco doing the right thing. Even though he's such a horrible person throughout most of the series, I think we all wanted to see him end up doing the right thing and standing up to Voldemort and his parents, but JK never explicitly gave it to us, unfortunately. Overall, I've really enjoyed your work so far-- keep it up!

  16. Hello Brooke! I really enjoyed your stories and website! It was well put together. I am not the biggest fan of the Harry Potter series in general but I still really enjoyed the website a lot. This week is a focus on the images of the website and you knocked it out of the park. The homepage image is spectacular. I love how you used more of art look compared to an actually picture. It gives the feeling of a well thought out website with images that compliment the website greatly. As I read through the stories, I really enjoyed them and the images that were used were awesome. I loved how you used cool, rustic images for the header than used more drawing and art feel for the first story. It just gives the story a lot of character and gives me something to visualize even more than the words of the story does. Your website was an awesome website to go through and read and hope to see more great things in the future!

  17. Hey Brooke!
    I really enjoyed your storybook! I am a huge Harry Potter fan, so I knew I just had to your stories. You did not disappoint. I thought your stories were very detailed and interactive. What I mean by that is that it engaged me by making me wonder what was going to happen next. You brought me back to my childhood and I felt like I was a young teenager discovering the wonderful world of Harry Potter again. As I finished the first story I instantly wanted more, and I couldn’t wait to read the rest of your stories. That is how you know that you have a good storybook is when it leaves people wanting more after they are done reading. I also enjoyed that you added some tidbits here and there to make the story your own. I want to comeback and finish up your last story when you are done. Keep up the great work!

  18. Brooke,

    I think you are making great strides on your project. This is my first time visiting, but after exploring I can tell you are beginning to really get in touch with your writer's side!

    I think your author's notes are incredibly well done. You broke them up well, and I love the added element of notes for those who have not read the books. One question I did have, however, was about the placement of it. Maybe it could go at the beginning of your author's note and that would further take care of some explanations before you have to explain more. I think by moving it to the front you could take care of some problems some people already have.

    Other than that, you have one of the most organized author's notes I have seen. It was refreshing to see, and I think I can learn something and improve my own author's note after reading yours. Great job!

  19. Hey Brooke! I was so excited to read your storybook because I am a huge fan of the Harry Potter series, and it did not disappoint! Upon first impression, I loved how your page was set up. I liked how you had a separate side panel for the different stories instead of having them across the top, and I also really liked how you used an animated picture for the header photo. Also, I liked how when I clicked on a link to get to one of your stories, it took me to a separate tab. I know this is small, but it makes navigation back to the home page much easier!
    My favorite of your stories was the Forbidden Forest story. You did such an amazing job with imagery, I really felt like I was able to imagine exactly everything you were writing. I also liked how much dialogue you used throughout the story. It made it easy to read and understand. Overall, you're doing a great job!

  20. Brooke oh my goodness I LOVED your storybook! I was so excited to see the word Hogwarts come up on my screen. Being a huge Harry Potter fan I couldn't wait to read your storybook. I read the first two stories and enjoyed them greatly. My heart sunk on the story about Teddy Lupin and Remus, knowing what happens to Remus at the end of the series. I adored the Forbidden Forest story. Luna was totally in character, and I adored her (I consider myself a Ravenclaw). The plot twist at the end that it was Dumbledore surprised me, but it made sense. That seems like something he would do. Your stories were well-written, and the pictures worked beautifully with your stories. You may want to consider continuing writing after the class is over, you're a good story-teller. Great job and keep up the hard work! I'll come back later in the semester to see how you finished the storybook (if you're writing any more stories?)!

  21. Hi Brooke! I love the theme of your storybook. I'm a huge fan of Harry Potter. I just read your story about Draco and really liked how you included him questioning the authority of Voldemort. I wonder if Draco would have done this with other people around. It seems to me that Draco yields to the "dark side" when he has an audience. The red fox is the guardian of the elixir but also has the power to choose who is worthy of taking the elixir. I wonder if the red fox would actually give up such a powerful object because he pitied Draco's situation? Or did he want to give Draco the opportunity to do the right thing first? I think it would be cool if the reader knew more of the history of the orb. How was it created? Why is the red fox its guardian? I can't wait to see what other stories you add or revisions you make before the end of the semester!

  22. I'm not even gonna lie, Brooke. This story almost brought a tear to my eye> it was so well written, I can't even. I loved reading this, and hopefully I have some thoughts to give that can help an already incredible story.

    In the beginning, McGonagall told Teddy that this memory belonged to a friend who was keeping watch over Remus that night. Which friend was it? And was the memory told from his perspective, since the memory belong to the friend and not Remus? This is a small detail that would change a lot about the way your story was written, this is just something that I noticed while reading. I love the way you wrote McGonagall. She didn't punish Teddy or yell at him, she simply helped him see a memory of his father, and I think that's the way J.K Rowling would have written as well, so I applaud you for knowing your characters so well. This was an awesome story, and I will be reading the next one. Good Luck!!

  23. Hey Brooke,

    It's been a while since I've visited your storybook. I was trying to give some other storybooks my attention. I was super happy to see another story waiting for me. When I saw that it was one about Malfoy, I knew I was in for an interesting read.

    The part where the fox started talking himself up literally made me lol. The ending surprised me, and I still don't know how I feel.

    Overall, I think you did a really great job incorporating a Chinese original into your own Hogwarts tale. You're very talented.

  24. Hey Brooke! It’s been a minute since I have visited your page. Since the last time, I have been anxiously awaiting when I could read the next installment of your storybook and now here I am! This week, I chose to read the story about Draco Malfoy and the Department of Mysteries. As I might have said last time, I have never read any of the Harry Potter books and have only seen three or four of the movies, so I am pretty unfamiliar with the plot or the characters. However, a lot of my best friends LOVE the series and know A LOT about the characteristics of each character and all of the mischief they get in to and I can imagine that people who love the Harry Potter books in that way would eat this storybook up! I know I do! I especially liked how you seemed to accurately portray Malfoy's personality (impatient, brave, a little prideful) within this story! Overall, great job!

  25. Hi Brooke!! As soon as I saw the theme of your storybook I could not help but to visit your site and read your stories. I am a long time fan of Harry Potter and loved your remake of the stories. Your home page has a magical feel to it similar to the magical feel of the movies and book of Harry Potter. The first story was so fun to read! I love how you used the magical werewolf creature found in mythology and the Harry Potter series. The second story was also wonderful to read. I loved Luna's character in the original series and you gave her the same personalities in your stories which I really enjoyed. The third story had a much darker theme throughout it. Incorporating characters like Draco and Voldemort was perfect for this story. I also like that there were other mythological elements such as the orbs in this story.

  26. Hey Brooke!

    I'm a huge Harry Potter fan so I was excited to read your storybook project this week. Lupin is actually my favorite character in the series, so I loved your first story about him and his son! The way that you created a story within a story worked well. I loved the dialogue you used, and you did an effective job of writing about the characters. The story about Draco was also really enjoyable. Your use of descriptive words stood out in this project, especially in the final story! If you add another story, I think one on Hagrid could be really neat. Visually, your storybook has a nice layout! Have you thought about using more Harry Potter-specific pictures? All three stories were enjoyable to read. It made me want to read the books again! Overall, very nicely done with this project and good luck on the rest of your semester!

  27. Hi Brooke!

    I absolutely love your Storybook idea. I've recently gotten back into Harry Potter because of Wizards Unite, which is so much fun.

    Actually initially it was because out of curiosity I took the Sorting Hat quiz and got sorted into Slytherin. WHAT? That was a couple of years ago. Then I took it again - same thing. Then I took it again more recently - same thing! I was totally shocked and dismayed at my result at first (I mean, Slytherins are the official villain house and I do not want to be a villain), but now I've become super proud of it. I'm going to write a blog post about it.

    Anyway, your Storybook is so great! The details are vivid and bring the stories and characters to life. You clearly have a solid understanding of the Wizarding world and the characters of Harry Potter.

    Also, I LOVE that you have a whole story about Luna. She is my favorite character in all the books but so underappreciated. In fact, I'd love to see a whole series just about her since she has such an interesting story.

    You've done a great job! Keep up the good work!

    - Cate Howell

  28. Hello Brooke,
    This storybook is amazing! I love the Harry Potter franchise and I am always searching for more content that I can read about it. I think that one of the most creative things about this storybook is that you are able to combine traditional stories with new original stories about the wizarding world. I especially enjoyed the story about Remus Lupin because of how seamlessly the transition was between original content and traditional story. I would like to commend you on your storytelling ability, you are truly able to breathe new life into these old tales. Great work!

  29. Hi Brooke!
    This is perfect storybook for any and every harry potter lover. I read your first story, Shrieking Shack. Your use of dialogue was very clever. I loved how you used special effects, such as the stuttering or interruptions in Teddy's nervous voice. These details truly make all the difference, and they add so much suspense to an already chilling story. You also used great use of imagery when describing his transformation into a werewolf. I found that him becoming a werewolf was almost debilitating-- for he couldn't hold back the instincts of a carnivore despite his human heart desperately not wanting to kill. The transformation was very clear into the flashback, and I could foresee this being a challenge when you were writing this. I knew what was happening in the memory versus the present, sitting with Professor McGonagall. Perhaps, for structural integrity, I would prevent adding double line spaces between paragraphs.
    Can't wait to read more of your work!

  30. Hi Brooke!

    It's been a while since I have read your storybook so I'm glad I came back to read the two new stories you had added since then. I really enjoyed reading these last two because of the characters you picked to be your main characters for each story. I have always loved Luna and Draco, and I really like that you kept them pretty much in character. My favorite part in the the Department of Mysteries story was the end where Draco was considering what would happen if the other side won the war and so he decided to leave empty-handed. You also mention in your author's note how you wanted to see a redemption arc for him and I totally agree. I think there really should have been a redemption arc part in the books for him which is why I really like how you wrote it. I like how you showed his inner battle with himself and him finally deciding on something he was sure he was against. Overall, your storybook is amazing and it was so fun to read! Good job! And good luck on finals!

  31. Hi Brooke!

    I really enjoyed reading through your storybook. Such a clever idea, to incorporate characters from Harry Potter and use them to act out the stories that you read for class! I really like how you varied your characters, from Professor McGonagall to Luna Lovegood to Draco Malfoy. They each are very different characters who fit well within the situations that the retellings demand. Also, the settings were great, and I really liked how you kept the retellings within the canonical world of Harry Potter by setting the stories in the Shrieking Shack, Forbidden Forest, and Department of Mysteries. Since I have read all the books twice and seen all the movies at least that many times, I was able to visualize the action in your storybook really well. Great job picking such a universal basis with which to create the world of your storybook! Everybody knows Harry Potter. Great job and enjoy winter break!


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